A Touch of Memory
by Spirit's Whisper
Summary: COMPLETE - 8 year old Fai trying to travel by magic for the very first time. Cute, sad, and sweet. A companion piece to my fic 'A Touch of Ice' though you don't have to have read any of my fics to enjoy it. Un-beta'ed.


**Disclaimer:** Tsubasa Chronicle is property of CLAMP. I don't make any money using their characters to fulfill the stories in my head, just enjoyment and self esteem from all the reviews, plus practice so maybe someday I can create something as awesome as they did.

**Author's Note:** This is a companion piece to my other TRC story _A Touch of Ice_, so, kind of like a deleted scene that wouldn't have fit in with the plot and yet I couldn't pass up writing it. **You do not need to have read my story to enjoy this little snippet.** My view of things will make much more sense if you did but it's not necessary I promise.

**Timeline: **This piece stems from a scene in chapter 14 _To Ignore The Problem _when Fai briefly thinks back to the fist time he used magic to travel. It's like a flashback I didn't use because it was too cutesy and strayed too far from the plot line but I couldn't just dump it into the pile of ideas I never use- that'd just be mean. That and chibi-Fai would get all pouty and I must bow down to the will of cuteness.

This memory takes place when Fai is a child. Ashura hasn't gone insane yet but I assume he knows it's going to happen in the future.

* * *

_...When everything stopped spinning his legs immediately felt weak, attempting to buckle beneath his weight as his magic struggled to pull itself back under control. It was no surprise really- all things considered. It was one thing going to see the witch- a journey taken by himself to an already known location, but pulling Kuro-poo along to the magical equivalent of a blind spot? That was another thing entirely, and just to make matters worse, everything about Kurogane screamed fire. It was in his blood whether he knew it or not and it meshed harshly with the magic flowing through his own veins and lapping at the noose of ice built firmly around his heart._

_He wanted to run through all the ways in his head how the contrast wasn't symbolic but he didn't have time as his knees suddenly gave out, his stomach lurching painfully with the urge to just let everything go. It was like he was eight again and trying to travel for the first time..._

**~/~**

He was eight years old when it happened.

He was still very scared and shy about using his magic, constantly worried that he'd hurt others and yet Ashura still insisted he learn how to use it saying, "You are a magician, little one. I know it's hard to control but eventually you're going to have to get over that fear no matter what has happened in the past." and then he would smile and wink, "You never know, some day you might find yourself in a situation where magic is the only way to help those around you and it won't do you any good if you let it or this fear control you."

It was shortly after this little speech that his master was called away to a far off land in order to help the people of his kingdom.

"Master Ashura-ou, how are you going to get there in time to help the people?"

"What do you mean, little one?"

"Well, it's so far away. Won't it take a long time to get there?"

His master chuckled a little, his Fai's curiosity reminding him of his own when he was that age. "It would if I were to take convention methods of getting there but I intend to travel by magic."

Not yet brave enough to push for answers on his own he the little blond boy waited for him to elaborate.

Ashura saw both the shyness and the eagerness swimming in those blue eyes and smiled. "Do you remember much from the day I brought you here? The day I brought you home?"

Fai began to nod but paused. Was this a trick question?

"Do you remember how we were in one place and then the next?"

This time the boy nodded avidly, biting his lip to keep from asking what would be told to him in good time.

"That was because I used magic to pull us from one place to the other. It's the easiest magic to master if you have the mind for it. If you'd like I'll teach you more about it when I return." He smiled at his golden haired boy once more, patting his head gently. "Now, be good for the palace staff while I'm away. I shouldn't be more than a few days at best."

"I will." The boy replied softly, wishing his master a safe journey in the deepest recesses of his heart.

**~/~**

Unfortunately a few days turned into several and still Ashura hadn't returned.

Fai, still scared and clingy from all the abandonments of his past began to search for something- _anything_ to occupy his time and keep his fearful thoughts at bay. He tried playing in the garden- it only made him think of his master. He tried dancing with Chii- it made him think of how his master had made her. He tried painting- but each color was a nightmare. Blue was his brother's eyes, gray the tower in which they were kept, yellow the sun he never saw, and red the hot blood that spilled out across the snow.

So, he tried to study. If play wouldn't distract him then maybe a good book would.

It wasn't long before he found a book on magical transportation, the eager child in him seeking only to please Ashura by learning all he could before he returned.

It wasn't much longer after that than an idea took hold of him. It'd been too long. He'd read every book in the library on magical transportation. He knew the ritual, knew process, he even knew the pysics behind the act. All he had to do now was try it.

He would go and find Ashura.

**~/~**

He stood in the main chamber, the echo from his previous steps still ringing in his mind. He was alone and for once he was happy to be so. His magic was still so volatile- he couldn't imagine using it when anyone else was around.

Fai shuddered at the very thought.

Ashura said he had a way of making it so his power was more controlled but that it would have to wait until he was older. Oh, how he longed for that day to come when he could use magic freely like his master and not hurt a single soul in the process.

_'Speaking of which...'_ He shakes himself from his thoughts and gets back to the course at hand.

The ritual itself was fairly simple, the whole of it requiring very little magic on his part. He started by singing softly to himself, mumbling half remembered words beneath his breath in his own native tongue before closing his eyes and opening up himself to the universe.

It's dark at first but as he let go, his focus shifting inwards to his own threads of power he began to see little light. Fuzzy at first, like stars on a foggy night and then brighter as he concentrated. They moved- swimming and dancing in the haze of his mental vision. This was magic at it's most basic form, to see the sparks and threads of energy that all things were composed of.

A little longer now and he could start to tell the different bits apart from one another. He could see his own magic clearly like bright sapphire cobwebs on a breeze. He could see the magic in Chii on the other side of the palace- a hollow white string meant to mimic some foreign source of power and he can see other threads as well. So many he's tempted to get lost in them but not yet- first he must find his master.

He waited in the darkness, letting the lights flash and zoom past him before he spotted it. A brighter thread amongst the rest, white and tinted with silvery strands of the faintest tint like glitter on newly fallen snow. It's beautiful and before he realizes what he done he's taken a step forward, allowing himself to be drawn in.

Fai tried to pull back, struggling to open his eyes but he was no longer in the palace. He's nothing more than pure power, the threads that bind him together traveling faster than he can imagine in a dark and increasingly frightening place.

_'Ashura-ou...!'_ He tried to cry out but no words would come and as everything begins to swirl and meld together he lost sight of the that precious thread of power. He doesn't know which way he's facing, where he's going, and with every passing second he's starting to lose sense of himself as well.

Suddenly he was jolted from the direction he was heading when white hot threads of power grabbed him- the touch searing and freezing all the same as he struggled against their hold. Then all at once they tightened, forcing a gasp from his insubstantial lips, before pulling harshly.

The universe around him shattered in a dazzling array of lights as his own threads snapped back into place, safely within his body again. He felt like he was falling, unbalanced, and sick- his stomach seeming to have taken longer to return than the rest of him and he lurched in whatever direction his body would allow him.

Arms were holding him and he couldn't even tell if they were his own or another's. Pressure pulsed in his ears making his head hurt, his cries deafening before another voice started to cut it all through but before he could make sense of the haze a cool hand pressed against his face and the whole world went dark.

**~/~**

When he woke his body felt like and shaky, like he has a hundred or so particles of energy buzzing around furiously inside him but he was too weak to do anything about. A long few moments passed before feeling returned to his limbs and he realized he was laying on the floor on top of a fur lined cloak. Another moment passed before his senses gather themselves and he realized he was on his master's cloak, his head in the great mage's lap.

He suddenly felt more scared than he had in a long time as he looked up to meet Ashura-ou's furious eyes. "What were you thinking, Fai? You could have been killed!" His voice was loud... so much louder than it had ever been and he seems to shake with intensity of the anger in his tone.

He tried his hardest to hold it together but the longer he looked his master's face to more his resolve began to crumble until tears were streaming down his pale face, a broken sob escaping him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please don't be mad at me, Ashura-ou!" He buried his face in his hands, ashamed of himself and infinitely frightened that this will be the final straw- that he's finally outworn his welcome and would be once again left in the tower to rot for all his years to come.

Alone.

The tears poured freely at that thought, his chest tight and breathing erratic as he lost what little bit of control he'd retained over his emotions. He was on the verge of hyperventilating again when he felt his master pull the rest of his body into his lap, whispering soothing words and a hand gently passing though his hair.

_'A spell...' _He realized somewhere at the back of his mind as a wave of cooling peace flowed over him. His body suddenly felt heavy and sapped of all energy as he continued to lie there against his master, the buzzing feeling beneath his skin dissipating slowly.

A long moment passed before his breathing calmed and he regains some semblance over himself. He wanted to go to sleep and let his poor abused stomach recover but he knew the great king wasn't done with him yet.

Gently, and carefully as one might clasp their hands around a bird, Ashura tilted up his chin, forcing him to look into his eyes. A different, warmer, and more himself look fell over his features as he spoke. "I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn't have yelled, especially after what you already put yourself through as I'm certain it was punishment enough. I was just worried about you, Fai." He pressed their foreheads together for half a second. "I don't know what I would do if something happened to you." An odd look passed between his eyes as it often did in these tender moments, almost as if he was fighting something within himself. In a breath it was gone, replaced by the worry. "Do you understand me, my Fai?"

The boy nodded, more tears silently flowing down his face.

Ashura smiled tenderly, seeing far more than Fai would ever want anyone to. "Why do you still cry?"

"I-I just wanted to help you and I messed it up." He tried to pull away from that wise gaze but his master held him there, urging him to continue. "I'll,... Just like my magic... I can't help anyone without something bad happening."

His master chuckled, ruffling his hair a little. "A smile is as potent in it's own way as some of the greatest spells this side of the universe has ever seen and a smile from you-" He looked deeply into the boy's eyes, trying hard to convey his point. "Is more than I could ever ask in the way of help."

Fai hiccuped softly, his crying subsided as he offered what broken little smile he could. "O-okay."

Ashura's arms wrap tightly around him, lifting him up, his hold warm and secure- another assurance that the ice in his eyes was gone for the time being. "Come, little one. Let's find something to settle your stomach. Travel is very easy in both magic and concept but it's still very hard on the body as I'm certain you now know."

Fai rested back against him as he was lifted up, the spell from before still tracing around his form as the gears in his eight year old head began to turn. His master said a smile was magic but a smile was also harmless,... right? Did that mean it was safe magic?

Was there even such a thing?

It was from then on he promised himself two impossible things. First that he would never again make his master worry and the second- that he would smile as much as he could because it was the only way he knew how to help others where he wouldn't get them hurt in the end.

**~/~**

Years later as his master slumbered beneath the waves the sane part of him dreampt of his Fai and how was a child at one point- his broken smile proving it even ought through things no child ever should.

This new Fai, someone else's Fai, offered him one last smile before turning his back on his master, his friend, and his heart forever. He didn't once look back, grin still firmly in place, as he let the threads of fate pull him along to the witch.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Yup. There it is. My sister-chan is working on some new fanart for it so keep an eye out on my profile. As for the **next chapter of ToI**- it'll be out sooner than you think.


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